Why Kindergarteners Struggle with Self‑Regulation (And What Fireside Parents Can Do About It)

Erin Gaulding
Aug 19
3 min read

Have you ever picked up your kindergartener and wondered, “Why does everything feel so hard for them right now?” The tears, the meltdowns, the constant need for reassurance; more and more young children are struggling to manage their emotions and daily routines. And parents everywhere are feeling it.

Across the country, educators are sounding the alarm for the need to develop self-regulation skills.

Self-regulation skills-the ability for kids to manage emotions, follow instructions, and stay focused.

The consensus is the skills not where they used to be. For many children, this struggle shows up as emotional outbursts, difficulty transitioning between activities, or a lack of independence.

Why Self‑Regulation Is Critical in Today's World

Self‑regulation is a child’s ability to pause, think, and respond, rather than react, when faced with a challenge. It’s what allows a 5‑year‑old to wait their turn, follow a simple routine, or bounce back after feeling disappointed. Self-regulation isn’t just about getting through the school day without tears. It’s the foundation for confidence, independence, and academic success.

Today’s children face unique challenges:

Big transitions at younger ages – Many 5‑year‑olds are stepping into large, structured classrooms before they’ve fully developed emotional resilience.
Packed schedules – Jumping from activity to activity leaves little time to recharge and settle.
Lingering post‑pandemic effects – Early childhood years spent in unpredictable or isolated settings left many children without consistent opportunities to practice social and emotional skills.

All of these factors make it harder for children to manage emotions, focus, and confidently handle day‑to‑day challenges.

Why It Matters—And K‑5 Is the Window Where It Counts

Strong self-regulation in the early years doesn’t just make your daily routines easier- it sets the foundation for long‑term success in school and life.

When children can manage their emotions and attention:

They stay organized and can follow multi-step directions.
They take ownership of their learning and their “stuff” without constant reminders.
They set goals and stick to them, building confidence and independence.
They are better prepared to become the next generation of leaders... resilient, focused, and empathetic.

This is why K‑5 is such a critical window. Research shows that children who develop self‑regulation early have stronger academic performance, social skills, and emotional well‑being for years to come.

How Fireside Learning Academy Supports Self‑Regulation

At Fireside, our whole‑child approach and Evolutionary Education model were built for this moment. We create a digital K‑5 environment where children can grow emotionally, academically, and socially at their own pace.

Here’s how we do it:

Small, focused class groups ensure every child gets the attention they need.
Mindfulness and movement breaks are part of our daily rhythm.
Individualized Development Plans (IDPs) allow us to meet each child where they are: academically and emotionally.
Bilingual and experiential learning keeps kids engaged and confident in multiple settings.
Close parent partnerships mean home and school work together to nurture emotional growth.

When children feel safe, supported, and seen, independence and self‑regulation develop naturally.

What Parents Can Do at Home

You can strengthen your child’s self‑regulation with a few simple, consistent strategies:

Model calm - When your child is upset, your calm presence teaches their nervous system what “safe” feels like.
Create routines - Predictability reduces stress and gives your child confidence.
Use co‑regulation - Guide your child through breathing or gentle redirection before expecting them to self‑soothe.
Limit screen time - Encourage hands‑on, creative play that builds patience and focus.
Celebrate small wins - Every moment of self‑control or successful transition builds long‑term skills.

A Word of Encouragement for Parents

If your child struggles with transitions, big emotions, or focus - you are not doing anything wrong. These are skills to be learned and practiced, not character flaws to fix.

When we give children the time, tools, and loving guidance they need, they become the independent, confident learners we always knew they could be. And that’s what we’re here to do at Fireside.

Sources:

Education Week: Kindergartners Are Struggling With Self‑Regulation. How Principals Can Respond (July 2025)

British Journal of Educational Psychology: Early Self‑Regulation and Academic Outcomes (2024)

National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC)